Recently I went into hypertensive crisis. The outpouring of care and love was outstandingly exceptional - from the second I had gestured to my coworker that I was not well to the time of recovery at home. This health scare has taken me on a journey of soul searching and self-discovery.
When I reached the hospital, my stress level and blood pressure remained extremely high. So my ideal expectation was that I would be placed in a quiet and private environment. In reality, in order to be monitored efficiently, I had to be kept in the ER in the midst of all the bright lights, beeping, and swooshing sounds. My bed was wheeled and zipped on the rail across this young, beautiful, and successful woman whose husband was siting quietly by her side. She had checked into the hospital, not for anything major, nor for any particular signs and symptoms, but simply for her peace of mind. She wondered if the zit on her face was a warning of a severe allergic reaction. As soon as I was dropped into my designated spot, I picked up her vibe of disenchantment. Not having the stamina to fight back, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I dismissed that unhealthy way of reacting to what I had perceived as 'her territorial attitude', and started focusing instead on my healing. She was released within an hour later.
Then, just as I began to relax in the room, another patient, a 79-year-old woman, Ms. C, became my new neighbor. Suddenly, I caught myself ironically wearing the villain's hat. I was disappointed that they had brought someone next to me while I needed total peace and quiet. I had forgotten that a few minutes earlier I, myself, was an unwanted neighbor. Ms C. was confident, charismatic, strong, humble, amicable, and stubborn. Sophisticated yet simple, she sat during all her stay with her head tall, a straight posture, and a radiant smile. She was brought in not of her own volition but by strangers who had witnessed her sustain a fall on the street. She could remember everything right before the fall and everything after. She hurt her head but could not remember how, or when it had happened. The medical experts were eager to figure out why. All preliminary tests came back normal except for "some internal bleeding around the affected site", which would require her to stay overnight. Informed that the "bleed" could possibly spread and that as a precaution she needed to stay for the night, she abruptly asked, " .......for what?"
Doctor: as to observe and see if it would become bigger."
Ms. C: "Then what if it's spread?
Doctor: it spreads we would have to perform surgery.
Ms. C: "And what if it doesn't?"
Doctor: it doesn't, you would go home."
Ms. C: "Then, in that case let me go home to kitty, and if spreads, I'll come back for the surgery."
Ms C. was adamant, sweet, and funny at the same time. She pulled me out of my miserable state without effort, by sharing her story. As I motioned that as we get older, there is this increasing need to be careful about how we handle ourselves. She zapped and said with a genuine smile: "don't get old it doesn't pay." As she continued sharing, I realized that she was another one of the many angels that have walked along my path in this journey called life.
Today, as I meditated over my health and the changes that have to occur, Ms C's joyful and brave spirit came to mind. Though I am working on different ways to improve my health, I cannot help but remind myself that we are all just passing through life; we must live every second of it with purpose. The universe is larger and greater than what we can see, and we must encourage and allow ourselves to make the best of each day.
This journey has taught me to live my life fully every day knowing that it might be my last. My health is one of my many treasures. Yet, it can be taken away in thousands of different ways. But love, grace, peace, harmony, joy, happiness, contentment, forgiveness, and fulfillment can never be taken away when I live my life every day to the fullest. Therefore, I will live my life every day as if it were my last mindfully, purposefully, gracefully, gratefully, respectfully, rightfully, righteously, joyfully and wisely.
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