Have I mentioned that my children are sometimes a pain in my backside? More often than I would desire. For example, the genes of facial hair, menstrual cramps, and hypertension have been passed down from generation to generation. I have been blessed to have inherited them all, and consequently so have my children. Whenever they would perceive that something has gone wrong, they would utter "Mommy It's all your fault." My reply has always been the same, "Who should I blame, and who should my mother blame?"
It is my belief that I have been blessed with these conditions. Perhaps my attitude stems from my field of practice, taking care of individuals at various critical stages of their lives.
One day, in the middle of my daily routine at work I had a stroke, I was in a state of shock, but did not panic. I knew I had no control over what was happening. I could only hope that what had always worked for my family would once again work for me, or else. Whenever my mother was in a crisis she would say: Lord I have never bowed before any other gods, but you Lord. In the name of Jesus let there be ____________." That prayer has been mine as well. That day, as I began calling on the blood of Jesus in English I felt the need to pray in my native language, Kreyol. The experts might say that I was regressing, maybe I was. The bottom line is that it worked again. All my body functions returned. My mouth and left limbs that turned right, realigned tthemselves to their assigned positions. Extensive follow ups were needed because of the high range of my blood pressure and the unusual thickness of my blood, but soon I would be whole again. I was once again given a perfect chance at life.
That scary brush with death helped me better understand the power of prayer and faith. Now I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is still on The Throne, and able to do amazing things beyond my comprehension.
I am:
blessed for waking up every morning
blessed with sanity
blessed with the ability to move
blessed with a voice
blessed with a healthy body
blessed with food, clothes and shelter
blessed with peace
blessed with family and friends.
blessed with freedom and liberty
blessed with the sun, the moon, and the stars
blessed with the air, water, and fire
blessed with teachers, mentors, medical teams,
blessed with overflowing of grace
blessed with amazing strength to endure
blessed with the gift of salvation
blessed with the hope of eternal life
Even in the depth of my storms.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
The Case for God
Sometimes I wonder if there are lunatics in the bugs'
kingdom. I wonder if some have rejected the idea that there is a higher power
because they are unable to see beyond their visual field. I wonder if they
think they are the products of a big bang. That out of nothing, nothing decided
to change into something. Something that exploded to create a balanced and
perfect universe. A universe that has been anchored for zillion years, and
still standing, and yet to unveil its mysteries.
All these having come to existence without help?
Or maybe they crawl on our walls eves dropping and laughing at us, with our presumption of being "the most advanced creatures" on this planet, wondering if we shouldn't have more common sense?
All these having come to existence without help?
Or maybe they crawl on our walls eves dropping and laughing at us, with our presumption of being "the most advanced creatures" on this planet, wondering if we shouldn't have more common sense?
My children have been my teachers of English
pronunciation, my counselors, my
critiques, my judges, the apple (s) of
my eyes, and most importantly my pain in the butts. They have been reading my
posts, and giving me feedback. But, they have passed some subtle messages that
can be translated as mommy slow down on the preaching style. To your
dissatisfaction guys I have tried, and will continue to try hard, but the
preaching part seems to be ingrained in me.
When I was a little girl,
I used to lay on my back in open air looking at the sky for hours. I
would stare at the sun as if I were in a competition to see how long I could do
it. I would look at all the shapes of clouds
to find familiar images such as a woman on a horse, a mother and a
child, a man on a motorcycle, or anything that I could picture in my young
mind. Then in the beautiful black pitch nights I would watch the stars in amazement, trying to count them all. Exhausted, I would go to bed wondering who in the world
gives order to these elements? The sun
wakes up every day and goes to sleep every night, and then the moon and the stars....they are
so obedient.
One day my maternal grandmother who used to live with us
traveled to the US. She was the best cook I will ever know. She was also the
funniest folk tale teller. I remember my six siblings shoving each other for
the seat next to grand mere. When she left I became so confused; I missed her
day and night. Then six years after, she was back in our midst. It took almost
20 years for me to set foot in the place that hid grandma from us.
That occurrence opened my eyes on the existence of God. I
realized that the fact that grandma was absent physically did not negate her
existence. Even though I could not see
her with my naked eyes due to the distance, she was well alive.
When I became older, my acquaintance with chemistry,
biology, astronomy and so on... confirmed and affirmed my belief that even
though I cannot see and visit God in His Kingdom His Existence is real.
It puzzles me that we have come to accept the reality of germs,
atoms, protons, electrons, etc. Knowledge and experimentations that many of our forefathers had missed since they
could not be seen through their naked eyes. Yet, we are unable to see the reality of
God. When I first studied chemistry in high school, it was in Haiti. Students of my generation can all
testify that we did not have laboratories to actually see those elements in action and
their chemical reactions. We had to study the formulae and believe by faith
that what we were studying were not a bunch of lies and fabrication. It wasn't until I went to college in The US
that through tangible experiments my doubts were lifted.
We are living in a
world more complex than we can imagine. When our physical world comes to a halt, that is where faith comes into play. When we put our faith in our
projects, we have the hope that we have done the right thing. When
they come to past we rejoice; and if they fail, it is not the end of our world.We become aware of what works
and what does not.
Our ideas of a creation without a creator is obsolete. I
have lived long enough in the perfect era to witness the creation of robots . I have yet to see them taking over their master's space and ruling over them. I am yet to see a robot telling his
creator or maker you did not create me. Though I cannot produce a physical portrait of what God looks like as I could do for my maternal grandmother, I can nevertheless point out to the countless mysteries, miracles and wonders, over us, under us, and around us. The counter arguments can only be they are supernatural.
My paternal grandmother passed away when my father was 8
years old. My father barely knew her. I only have a vague idea of her
existence; yet that doesn't negate her existence. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my father is the evidence of my grandmother's existence. I do not ever need to see her in person to believe she had existed. As well as the earth, the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars, the galaxies, the universe, and us humans testify of the existence of God.
When we are at the end of our rope, only faith can carry us through. We all will be one day at the end of our rope.......it is written in the code of our DNA.
When we are at the end of our rope, only faith can carry us through. We all will be one day at the end of our rope.......it is written in the code of our DNA.
"Faith doesn't make sense, that's why it makes miracle." - John Di Lemme
"Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your
eyes see is darkness." - Anonymous
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Anger Untamed
When we pay to do a job and it's not done well, our first reaction is anger. Then we vow to get a refund or a
makeover. Last month I went to do my nails, something I have not had the luxury
to do for many years. I asked for a simple French manicure. As the lady
manicurist noticed my short nails, she suggested that I used some extensions,
the minute I nodded yes she bounced me to a male nail technician. He did
not utter one word, put on his mask and started scraping and drilling my
already non-existent nails. Frozen, not wanting to question his expertise, I
thought maybe that must be the innovative way to give a manicure. He
gestured for me to choose - still with his mask on - from a variety
of colors displayed on plastic imitation nails. After applying the color,
he put my naked hands under some UV light and boom 15 minutes 35 dollars. I
made a conscious choice not to give any tips for it felt like I had just
survived a nightmare.
When I reached home, I put on my reading glasses and noticed the mediocre job that was done. Mad at myself for having let someone pocket my money after such a subpar service, I decided to travel back to that place two hours away just to vent my dissatisfaction. At that time, the refrain that my mind kept singing was "it's a matter of principles." At the salon I took a seat as he was busy. In the meantime other workers looked at the nails shook their heads and asked me politely to wait for him. When he finally approached me, he was adamant that he would not fix the nails. I went back home more disappointed than I had left before. Then, came the moment of clarity. I resolved to learn how to personally care for my nails. I went and purchased a collection of nail tools, watched some YouTube videos, and took over my manicure.
Anger is a normal human reaction, but need not to become our master. Jesus was angry at the merchants in the temple, but did not let his anger turn into sin. The Bible exhorts not to let the sun set on our anger. Once we go to bed with anger in our heart the natural occurrence of sleeping restfully or peacefully is gone. Then starts the meditation of evil. Ideas of revenge, wickedness and crimes lay down brewing next to us in our own beds.
When anger gets out of control it gives birth to hatred, selfishness, greediness, and confusion. Those spirits, if left untamed, will turn us into caricatures and monsters far-fetched from the divine plan. Our arrogance oftentimes creates all sorts of barriers, macabre plans behind the scenes that give us an illusion of superiority over others. Consequently, we start perceiving threats that need to be destroyed; we begin spreading/ passing fears on others. We become paranoid. Everything around us becomes our enemies. Many times an introspection would help us win over our personal inner demons instead of those of the neighbors. For we need to sweep and put order in ourselves before we can deal with others' imperfections.
When I reached home, I put on my reading glasses and noticed the mediocre job that was done. Mad at myself for having let someone pocket my money after such a subpar service, I decided to travel back to that place two hours away just to vent my dissatisfaction. At that time, the refrain that my mind kept singing was "it's a matter of principles." At the salon I took a seat as he was busy. In the meantime other workers looked at the nails shook their heads and asked me politely to wait for him. When he finally approached me, he was adamant that he would not fix the nails. I went back home more disappointed than I had left before. Then, came the moment of clarity. I resolved to learn how to personally care for my nails. I went and purchased a collection of nail tools, watched some YouTube videos, and took over my manicure.
Anger is a normal human reaction, but need not to become our master. Jesus was angry at the merchants in the temple, but did not let his anger turn into sin. The Bible exhorts not to let the sun set on our anger. Once we go to bed with anger in our heart the natural occurrence of sleeping restfully or peacefully is gone. Then starts the meditation of evil. Ideas of revenge, wickedness and crimes lay down brewing next to us in our own beds.
When anger gets out of control it gives birth to hatred, selfishness, greediness, and confusion. Those spirits, if left untamed, will turn us into caricatures and monsters far-fetched from the divine plan. Our arrogance oftentimes creates all sorts of barriers, macabre plans behind the scenes that give us an illusion of superiority over others. Consequently, we start perceiving threats that need to be destroyed; we begin spreading/ passing fears on others. We become paranoid. Everything around us becomes our enemies. Many times an introspection would help us win over our personal inner demons instead of those of the neighbors. For we need to sweep and put order in ourselves before we can deal with others' imperfections.
Many times our circumstances, hurdles and disappointments are
angels ordered in our paths to take us into our destiny. If we lose our minds
over some silly distractions we may not enter in our promise land.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Embrace Hidden Wisdom
Sometimes I feel like our lenses are distorted. What are considered small might be bigger and vice versa. What we are discarding as junks might be the greatest treasures. We have come to a world so older than us, yet have become experts so full of ourselves that we are falling under the weight of our arrogance. The more we discover, the more there is and will be to be discovered. There will always be mountains behind the mountains, galaxies further than the newest ones we've just discovered as The Divine is constantly moving. We need to open our mind and eyes to find and embrace wisdom wherever wisdom might be hiding.
For example, The Bible a source of knowledge, guidance and inspiration for millennia, has been facing opposition in certain countries, places or institutions. In this country, carrying and reading a Bible in the open in certain schools have had pretty rough consequences. If one is free to read any other book on any other subject on planet earth why exclude the Bible? Some stipule that the Bible is controversial, what in the world is not? Let's bring it to our scholarly discussions, let's expose the controversies. Let it be another subject in the classroom. Our children are exposed daily to nudity, drugs and violence on tv, through diverse papers and magazines, on the streets, but we feel that they need to be protected from the "controversies" of the Bible? We can teach our kids about everything from Socrates to Shakespeare, about all types of behavior appropriate and inappropriate, and cannot let them be exposed to the content of one of the most sacred books in history? Our kids are smarter than that. They need to be equipped to learn, dispell, compare and make conscious choices between fallacies and truth.
I was born and raise in church. For half of my school years I went to a church school where parents and family members were the pastors, the teachers. I believe that who I am wouldn't be possible without these intrisic values passed down to me from generations of unbending and faithful servants.
The Bible was my story book since we did not have access to libraries of books and e-books. The Bible was my mirror. Its stories were my different scenarios. I would picture my life as an angel and fight against the role of a demon. I would walk vicariously in Mary, the mother of Jesus' shoes. I dreamed of being Esther who would save her people from destruction through her faith and grace. I owned every story of victory in the Bible; they were my epic moments. I had so many great heroes and heroines to look up to. Those crazy and vicious battles had prepared me for my personal battles in life, knowing that whether spiritual or physical, all my battles are The Lord's. That I can depend on His promises to strengthen me, protect me, fight in my stead and gIves me great victory. The Bible has remained my favorite book, for in it, are hidden exhaustless treasures.
The ants and bees for example are tiny creatures compared to us giants. Yet the way they structure, manage and uphold their colonies amazes and inspires us. We have been intrigued by their way of life, and have studied them extensively. Their survival and prosperity are incumbent upon their unity. " Men anpil chay pa lou" L'union fait la force" A Haitian proverb that can be translated as "Out of many hands the burden is light". This truthful statement solidifies the belief of the power of many.
The power of many has been considered a threat in many civilisations in history. Remember that anything wrongly used can become a threat or a danger. A group of ill- prepared intellectuals will conspire to create / invent destructive means to eliminate / destroy. While a group of compassionate scholars would consort to advance the welfare of humanity. A group of bad spirited businesssmen will work to the detriment of their sociey, while a group of visionaries will work to its benefits. A group of ill-spirited leaders will expose tthe lives of many to great dangers, while well spirited ones will work together towards the safety and well being of their communities.
When one ant spots a morsel it sends a signal to invite the whole community. Such invitation creates the desire and the willingness to participate in lifting the burden, then sharing the joy. Since from family A through family Z in the ants' world the spirit of trust, mutual respect, participation, dedication and fair retribution exist, no montain will stand on their way. When duty and honor, service and satisfaction, work and reward walk hand in hand it eases the participation in the process. When everyone feel and know that that they matter individually, they will get involved naturally. For example, I have never had a problem volunteering at my job. I have swept, picked up garbage and mopped floors. It's my belief that whatever I do cannot take away anything from who I am. It took parents, children, friends, religious leaders, teachers, neighbors, villages, communities, countries, establishments to nurture and build the woman I am today.
Our children need our collective support. We need to be concerned about their whole beings, body , mind and soul. We may puff up ourselves as much as we will;, every night we are reminded that we do not have absolute control, or knowledge. Our children and us will see tomorrow unless He allows us to. Falling asleep or dying should humble us all and bring us on our knees.
For example, The Bible a source of knowledge, guidance and inspiration for millennia, has been facing opposition in certain countries, places or institutions. In this country, carrying and reading a Bible in the open in certain schools have had pretty rough consequences. If one is free to read any other book on any other subject on planet earth why exclude the Bible? Some stipule that the Bible is controversial, what in the world is not? Let's bring it to our scholarly discussions, let's expose the controversies. Let it be another subject in the classroom. Our children are exposed daily to nudity, drugs and violence on tv, through diverse papers and magazines, on the streets, but we feel that they need to be protected from the "controversies" of the Bible? We can teach our kids about everything from Socrates to Shakespeare, about all types of behavior appropriate and inappropriate, and cannot let them be exposed to the content of one of the most sacred books in history? Our kids are smarter than that. They need to be equipped to learn, dispell, compare and make conscious choices between fallacies and truth.
I was born and raise in church. For half of my school years I went to a church school where parents and family members were the pastors, the teachers. I believe that who I am wouldn't be possible without these intrisic values passed down to me from generations of unbending and faithful servants.
The Bible was my story book since we did not have access to libraries of books and e-books. The Bible was my mirror. Its stories were my different scenarios. I would picture my life as an angel and fight against the role of a demon. I would walk vicariously in Mary, the mother of Jesus' shoes. I dreamed of being Esther who would save her people from destruction through her faith and grace. I owned every story of victory in the Bible; they were my epic moments. I had so many great heroes and heroines to look up to. Those crazy and vicious battles had prepared me for my personal battles in life, knowing that whether spiritual or physical, all my battles are The Lord's. That I can depend on His promises to strengthen me, protect me, fight in my stead and gIves me great victory. The Bible has remained my favorite book, for in it, are hidden exhaustless treasures.
The ants and bees for example are tiny creatures compared to us giants. Yet the way they structure, manage and uphold their colonies amazes and inspires us. We have been intrigued by their way of life, and have studied them extensively. Their survival and prosperity are incumbent upon their unity. " Men anpil chay pa lou" L'union fait la force" A Haitian proverb that can be translated as "Out of many hands the burden is light". This truthful statement solidifies the belief of the power of many.
The power of many has been considered a threat in many civilisations in history. Remember that anything wrongly used can become a threat or a danger. A group of ill- prepared intellectuals will conspire to create / invent destructive means to eliminate / destroy. While a group of compassionate scholars would consort to advance the welfare of humanity. A group of bad spirited businesssmen will work to the detriment of their sociey, while a group of visionaries will work to its benefits. A group of ill-spirited leaders will expose tthe lives of many to great dangers, while well spirited ones will work together towards the safety and well being of their communities.
When one ant spots a morsel it sends a signal to invite the whole community. Such invitation creates the desire and the willingness to participate in lifting the burden, then sharing the joy. Since from family A through family Z in the ants' world the spirit of trust, mutual respect, participation, dedication and fair retribution exist, no montain will stand on their way. When duty and honor, service and satisfaction, work and reward walk hand in hand it eases the participation in the process. When everyone feel and know that that they matter individually, they will get involved naturally. For example, I have never had a problem volunteering at my job. I have swept, picked up garbage and mopped floors. It's my belief that whatever I do cannot take away anything from who I am. It took parents, children, friends, religious leaders, teachers, neighbors, villages, communities, countries, establishments to nurture and build the woman I am today.
Our children need our collective support. We need to be concerned about their whole beings, body , mind and soul. We may puff up ourselves as much as we will;, every night we are reminded that we do not have absolute control, or knowledge. Our children and us will see tomorrow unless He allows us to. Falling asleep or dying should humble us all and bring us on our knees.
Friday, August 7, 2015
There is a season for every thing
There is a time and a season for everything. The Master Designer of nature has carefully planned and crafted the four seasons. Imagine an inhabited place where there would be no sun, no trees, no leaves; all there would be all year long is snow falls and storms. It would have been the most depressing, inconvenient and cruel place to be, as excess in everything is annoying.
In life as well there are seasons. Seasons to toil and seed, and seasons to harvest. Seasons to be born, and seasons to be gone
Seasons to rejoice and seasons to mourn
There are also seasons to be silent, waiting for God's voice, that sweet voice of comfort and reassurance. That inner calming voice encouraging us to stay the course til our victory.
In life, we do not witness our seasons at the same time. Our seasons are individually tailored and come at different times bringing excitement and joy on one hand or grief and sorrow on the other hand.
Imagine all births and christenings, all weddings and honeymoons, deaths and funerals; everything happening at the same time for everyone. Then, who would be there to assist, witness, share the joy or the grief with us? Everyone would be beating their drums and dance to their own music. The seasons of your lives create beauty, balance and hope. There is a season to voice our concerns, share our insights, and there is a season to zip up our mouths.
Balance in our lives is important. In order to maintain balance, we need to also be connected to a spiritual source. I spoke about the time of my silence on my last blog. It was a season of disappointment, fear, confusion, and uncertainty. I was conscious that if I would open my mouth, mostly displeasing words would have translate the fury of the storm inside. So I had chosen to remain selectively mute. Staying silent kept me sane and safe.
Now that The mighty Hands of The Living and Faithful God has opened my eyes to understand:
That he had never left me, even when I felt so alone and overwhelmed;
That He had carried me through every piece of thorny and rocky road;
That He was molding and transforming me into a vessel of great price;
That He always had my back, guaranteed me protection and love even when I fell,
a lot of emotions subsided, and my voice came back. A voice that will not spew venom and hurt. A voice that may encourage the poor, the oppressed, the abused, the forsaken, the hopeless to live and hope for a better tomorrow.
In life as well there are seasons. Seasons to toil and seed, and seasons to harvest. Seasons to be born, and seasons to be gone
Seasons to rejoice and seasons to mourn
There are also seasons to be silent, waiting for God's voice, that sweet voice of comfort and reassurance. That inner calming voice encouraging us to stay the course til our victory.
In life, we do not witness our seasons at the same time. Our seasons are individually tailored and come at different times bringing excitement and joy on one hand or grief and sorrow on the other hand.
Imagine all births and christenings, all weddings and honeymoons, deaths and funerals; everything happening at the same time for everyone. Then, who would be there to assist, witness, share the joy or the grief with us? Everyone would be beating their drums and dance to their own music. The seasons of your lives create beauty, balance and hope. There is a season to voice our concerns, share our insights, and there is a season to zip up our mouths.
Balance in our lives is important. In order to maintain balance, we need to also be connected to a spiritual source. I spoke about the time of my silence on my last blog. It was a season of disappointment, fear, confusion, and uncertainty. I was conscious that if I would open my mouth, mostly displeasing words would have translate the fury of the storm inside. So I had chosen to remain selectively mute. Staying silent kept me sane and safe.
Now that The mighty Hands of The Living and Faithful God has opened my eyes to understand:
That he had never left me, even when I felt so alone and overwhelmed;
That He had carried me through every piece of thorny and rocky road;
That He was molding and transforming me into a vessel of great price;
That He always had my back, guaranteed me protection and love even when I fell,
a lot of emotions subsided, and my voice came back. A voice that will not spew venom and hurt. A voice that may encourage the poor, the oppressed, the abused, the forsaken, the hopeless to live and hope for a better tomorrow.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Grateful for the storms of our lives
Have you ever wondered why out of all the people in the world you had to deal with the issues you had to deal with? Have you ever wondered why everyone were gone when you needed them the most? Have you ever wondered why you had to go through so much pain and agony? Have you ever wondered why you even came on this earth?
I have and will still be wondering about things in this life. I have wondered about the pain of separation, shame, and guilt that my family had to endure. I have wondered about the pain of discrimination and inequalities we had to go through. I have wondered about so many things and am still wondering about other things.
So as everyday brings his share of pain and sorrows, everyday brings his share of wisdom and comfort. Glancing back at the past, I am grateful for the strength and grace that I was blessed with in those moments of agony.
I recalled in those dark moments how I vicariously was holding on the promises that The God who had delivered so many in the past would fight my battles as well. I had lost my voice and had remained silent for along time. There was nothing wrong with that, for there are battles that our little selves could never win, if not through divine interventions. Exodus 14:14 For the Lord will fight your battle, and you be silent. Being silent does not mean that you are wrong, nor weak. Being silent allows one to:
conserve energy
preserve oneself from faux-pas
have clarity in your spirit
have clarity in your judgements
have clarity of vision.
In fact in our silence we allows The Divine to show up in Majesty in our life. Job stayed silent in the midst of the shame of his despair, sudden poverty and griefs. until the time came for him to boldly talk to his *judging friends. Eli and Jesus had to go into hiding so they were not prematurely destroyed. Sometimes we have to go into the cave of our moments and take cover against the wind of our storm until we get the all clear *order.
Why do we have to go through so much pain and agony? Why a God of love would let us go though so much pain, lots of time unjustifiable pain?
If gold did not go through the fire; it would have been unrecognizable. People would pass it by or discard it as trash. I can guarantee you that any piece of gold that you may have encountered had gone through hell. But when the final product is revealed, what a transformation. What a beautiful, precious, indescribable piece of metal it has become. The same goes for us; after the storms of our lives are gone, we emerge victorious, graceful, refined, and grateful.
I have and will still be wondering about things in this life. I have wondered about the pain of separation, shame, and guilt that my family had to endure. I have wondered about the pain of discrimination and inequalities we had to go through. I have wondered about so many things and am still wondering about other things.
So as everyday brings his share of pain and sorrows, everyday brings his share of wisdom and comfort. Glancing back at the past, I am grateful for the strength and grace that I was blessed with in those moments of agony.
I recalled in those dark moments how I vicariously was holding on the promises that The God who had delivered so many in the past would fight my battles as well. I had lost my voice and had remained silent for along time. There was nothing wrong with that, for there are battles that our little selves could never win, if not through divine interventions. Exodus 14:14 For the Lord will fight your battle, and you be silent. Being silent does not mean that you are wrong, nor weak. Being silent allows one to:
conserve energy
preserve oneself from faux-pas
have clarity in your spirit
have clarity in your judgements
have clarity of vision.
In fact in our silence we allows The Divine to show up in Majesty in our life. Job stayed silent in the midst of the shame of his despair, sudden poverty and griefs. until the time came for him to boldly talk to his *judging friends. Eli and Jesus had to go into hiding so they were not prematurely destroyed. Sometimes we have to go into the cave of our moments and take cover against the wind of our storm until we get the all clear *order.
Why do we have to go through so much pain and agony? Why a God of love would let us go though so much pain, lots of time unjustifiable pain?
If gold did not go through the fire; it would have been unrecognizable. People would pass it by or discard it as trash. I can guarantee you that any piece of gold that you may have encountered had gone through hell. But when the final product is revealed, what a transformation. What a beautiful, precious, indescribable piece of metal it has become. The same goes for us; after the storms of our lives are gone, we emerge victorious, graceful, refined, and grateful.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Forgiveness Liberates
Have you ever wondered about something you've lost or was taken from you? I had, but not anymore; and I will tell you why.
Years ago when I found out that the man I was married to for more than two decades, and with whom I conceived five wonderful children was remarried, before I even knew I was divorced, I was devastated. I felt like the world had crumbled over me. For a long while I had lost myself, my compass, and was totally disoriented.
I was angry for quite a while. As my anger was taking a toll on my health and sanity I began to reflect. When I would cross paths with in- laws my heart would race as if I were on the verge of a heart attack. Realizing that my fist-sized heart could not hold thousands of pounds of human imperfection and wickedness, I decided to find a better way to mourn my loss. I began fasting and praying. Those were very private moments - trying to shield the children from much more suffering- . I had a little support however from my youngest whose umbilical cord was still attached somehow to a virtual placenta inside my womb. (a joke her siblings would frequently make).
One day, I noticed this quote on a wall: "Anger is one letter short of danger." I digested it and integrated it into my warning signs. Another day one of the most powerful but anonymous quotes: "Do not let yourself be upset by people or things, they are powerless. Your reaction is their power." As a reminder I posted it in front of my bedroom and in my office at work (up to this day).
Then came my first breakthrough when a female bishop in her sermon opened the eyes of my heart saying: " look at you, you are so miserable hating the woman who took your ex away. You had a headache and that woman took it away. Instead of blessing her, sending her a thank you card for taking your headache and giving you peace of mind you are lamenting as if you lost your mother. Save your tears for a better purpose."
My journey towards recovery began at that moment. It has been a long process, but through reading books about forgiveness such as 'Why Forgive' by Johann Christoph Arnold a new era had begun, a time of empowerment. I learned to forgive myself for having thought for so long that I had failed to be the 'perfect wife" I had put behind the 'I could haves' and I should haves' or should not haves' . I have learned since that even though forgiveness does not rectify nor justify the wrong perpetrated against me; it does set me free from the bondage of hatred. It liberates my body, mind and soul. It clears my vision so I can joyfully choose to forsake bitterness, and become a better soul .
Years ago when I found out that the man I was married to for more than two decades, and with whom I conceived five wonderful children was remarried, before I even knew I was divorced, I was devastated. I felt like the world had crumbled over me. For a long while I had lost myself, my compass, and was totally disoriented.
I was angry for quite a while. As my anger was taking a toll on my health and sanity I began to reflect. When I would cross paths with in- laws my heart would race as if I were on the verge of a heart attack. Realizing that my fist-sized heart could not hold thousands of pounds of human imperfection and wickedness, I decided to find a better way to mourn my loss. I began fasting and praying. Those were very private moments - trying to shield the children from much more suffering- . I had a little support however from my youngest whose umbilical cord was still attached somehow to a virtual placenta inside my womb. (a joke her siblings would frequently make).
One day, I noticed this quote on a wall: "Anger is one letter short of danger." I digested it and integrated it into my warning signs. Another day one of the most powerful but anonymous quotes: "Do not let yourself be upset by people or things, they are powerless. Your reaction is their power." As a reminder I posted it in front of my bedroom and in my office at work (up to this day).
Then came my first breakthrough when a female bishop in her sermon opened the eyes of my heart saying: " look at you, you are so miserable hating the woman who took your ex away. You had a headache and that woman took it away. Instead of blessing her, sending her a thank you card for taking your headache and giving you peace of mind you are lamenting as if you lost your mother. Save your tears for a better purpose."
My journey towards recovery began at that moment. It has been a long process, but through reading books about forgiveness such as 'Why Forgive' by Johann Christoph Arnold a new era had begun, a time of empowerment. I learned to forgive myself for having thought for so long that I had failed to be the 'perfect wife" I had put behind the 'I could haves' and I should haves' or should not haves' . I have learned since that even though forgiveness does not rectify nor justify the wrong perpetrated against me; it does set me free from the bondage of hatred. It liberates my body, mind and soul. It clears my vision so I can joyfully choose to forsake bitterness, and become a better soul .
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