Have I mentioned that my children are sometimes a pain in my backside? More often than I would desire. For example, the genes of facial hair, menstrual cramps, and hypertension have been passed down from generation to generation. I have been blessed to have inherited them all, and consequently so have my children. Whenever they would perceive that something has gone wrong, they would utter "Mommy It's all your fault." My reply has always been the same, "Who should I blame, and who should my mother blame?"
It is my belief that I have been blessed with these conditions. Perhaps my attitude stems from my field of practice, taking care of individuals at various critical stages of their lives.
One day, in the middle of my daily routine at work I had a stroke, I was in a state of shock, but did not panic. I knew I had no control over what was happening. I could only hope that what had always worked for my family would once again work for me, or else. Whenever my mother was in a crisis she would say: Lord I have never bowed before any other gods, but you Lord. In the name of Jesus let there be ____________." That prayer has been mine as well. That day, as I began calling on the blood of Jesus in English I felt the need to pray in my native language, Kreyol. The experts might say that I was regressing, maybe I was. The bottom line is that it worked again. All my body functions returned. My mouth and left limbs that turned right, realigned tthemselves to their assigned positions. Extensive follow ups were needed because of the high range of my blood pressure and the unusual thickness of my blood, but soon I would be whole again. I was once again given a perfect chance at life.
That scary brush with death helped me better understand the power of prayer and faith. Now I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is still on The Throne, and able to do amazing things beyond my comprehension.
I am:
blessed for waking up every morning
blessed with sanity
blessed with the ability to move
blessed with a voice
blessed with a healthy body
blessed with food, clothes and shelter
blessed with peace
blessed with family and friends.
blessed with freedom and liberty
blessed with the sun, the moon, and the stars
blessed with the air, water, and fire
blessed with teachers, mentors, medical teams,
blessed with overflowing of grace
blessed with amazing strength to endure
blessed with the gift of salvation
blessed with the hope of eternal life
Even in the depth of my storms.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
The Case for God
Sometimes I wonder if there are lunatics in the bugs'
kingdom. I wonder if some have rejected the idea that there is a higher power
because they are unable to see beyond their visual field. I wonder if they
think they are the products of a big bang. That out of nothing, nothing decided
to change into something. Something that exploded to create a balanced and
perfect universe. A universe that has been anchored for zillion years, and
still standing, and yet to unveil its mysteries.
All these having come to existence without help?
Or maybe they crawl on our walls eves dropping and laughing at us, with our presumption of being "the most advanced creatures" on this planet, wondering if we shouldn't have more common sense?
All these having come to existence without help?
Or maybe they crawl on our walls eves dropping and laughing at us, with our presumption of being "the most advanced creatures" on this planet, wondering if we shouldn't have more common sense?
My children have been my teachers of English
pronunciation, my counselors, my
critiques, my judges, the apple (s) of
my eyes, and most importantly my pain in the butts. They have been reading my
posts, and giving me feedback. But, they have passed some subtle messages that
can be translated as mommy slow down on the preaching style. To your
dissatisfaction guys I have tried, and will continue to try hard, but the
preaching part seems to be ingrained in me.
When I was a little girl,
I used to lay on my back in open air looking at the sky for hours. I
would stare at the sun as if I were in a competition to see how long I could do
it. I would look at all the shapes of clouds
to find familiar images such as a woman on a horse, a mother and a
child, a man on a motorcycle, or anything that I could picture in my young
mind. Then in the beautiful black pitch nights I would watch the stars in amazement, trying to count them all. Exhausted, I would go to bed wondering who in the world
gives order to these elements? The sun
wakes up every day and goes to sleep every night, and then the moon and the stars....they are
so obedient.
One day my maternal grandmother who used to live with us
traveled to the US. She was the best cook I will ever know. She was also the
funniest folk tale teller. I remember my six siblings shoving each other for
the seat next to grand mere. When she left I became so confused; I missed her
day and night. Then six years after, she was back in our midst. It took almost
20 years for me to set foot in the place that hid grandma from us.
That occurrence opened my eyes on the existence of God. I
realized that the fact that grandma was absent physically did not negate her
existence. Even though I could not see
her with my naked eyes due to the distance, she was well alive.
When I became older, my acquaintance with chemistry,
biology, astronomy and so on... confirmed and affirmed my belief that even
though I cannot see and visit God in His Kingdom His Existence is real.
It puzzles me that we have come to accept the reality of germs,
atoms, protons, electrons, etc. Knowledge and experimentations that many of our forefathers had missed since they
could not be seen through their naked eyes. Yet, we are unable to see the reality of
God. When I first studied chemistry in high school, it was in Haiti. Students of my generation can all
testify that we did not have laboratories to actually see those elements in action and
their chemical reactions. We had to study the formulae and believe by faith
that what we were studying were not a bunch of lies and fabrication. It wasn't until I went to college in The US
that through tangible experiments my doubts were lifted.
We are living in a
world more complex than we can imagine. When our physical world comes to a halt, that is where faith comes into play. When we put our faith in our
projects, we have the hope that we have done the right thing. When
they come to past we rejoice; and if they fail, it is not the end of our world.We become aware of what works
and what does not.
Our ideas of a creation without a creator is obsolete. I
have lived long enough in the perfect era to witness the creation of robots . I have yet to see them taking over their master's space and ruling over them. I am yet to see a robot telling his
creator or maker you did not create me. Though I cannot produce a physical portrait of what God looks like as I could do for my maternal grandmother, I can nevertheless point out to the countless mysteries, miracles and wonders, over us, under us, and around us. The counter arguments can only be they are supernatural.
My paternal grandmother passed away when my father was 8
years old. My father barely knew her. I only have a vague idea of her
existence; yet that doesn't negate her existence. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my father is the evidence of my grandmother's existence. I do not ever need to see her in person to believe she had existed. As well as the earth, the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars, the galaxies, the universe, and us humans testify of the existence of God.
When we are at the end of our rope, only faith can carry us through. We all will be one day at the end of our rope.......it is written in the code of our DNA.
When we are at the end of our rope, only faith can carry us through. We all will be one day at the end of our rope.......it is written in the code of our DNA.
"Faith doesn't make sense, that's why it makes miracle." - John Di Lemme
"Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your
eyes see is darkness." - Anonymous
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Anger Untamed
When we pay to do a job and it's not done well, our first reaction is anger. Then we vow to get a refund or a
makeover. Last month I went to do my nails, something I have not had the luxury
to do for many years. I asked for a simple French manicure. As the lady
manicurist noticed my short nails, she suggested that I used some extensions,
the minute I nodded yes she bounced me to a male nail technician. He did
not utter one word, put on his mask and started scraping and drilling my
already non-existent nails. Frozen, not wanting to question his expertise, I
thought maybe that must be the innovative way to give a manicure. He
gestured for me to choose - still with his mask on - from a variety
of colors displayed on plastic imitation nails. After applying the color,
he put my naked hands under some UV light and boom 15 minutes 35 dollars. I
made a conscious choice not to give any tips for it felt like I had just
survived a nightmare.
When I reached home, I put on my reading glasses and noticed the mediocre job that was done. Mad at myself for having let someone pocket my money after such a subpar service, I decided to travel back to that place two hours away just to vent my dissatisfaction. At that time, the refrain that my mind kept singing was "it's a matter of principles." At the salon I took a seat as he was busy. In the meantime other workers looked at the nails shook their heads and asked me politely to wait for him. When he finally approached me, he was adamant that he would not fix the nails. I went back home more disappointed than I had left before. Then, came the moment of clarity. I resolved to learn how to personally care for my nails. I went and purchased a collection of nail tools, watched some YouTube videos, and took over my manicure.
Anger is a normal human reaction, but need not to become our master. Jesus was angry at the merchants in the temple, but did not let his anger turn into sin. The Bible exhorts not to let the sun set on our anger. Once we go to bed with anger in our heart the natural occurrence of sleeping restfully or peacefully is gone. Then starts the meditation of evil. Ideas of revenge, wickedness and crimes lay down brewing next to us in our own beds.
When anger gets out of control it gives birth to hatred, selfishness, greediness, and confusion. Those spirits, if left untamed, will turn us into caricatures and monsters far-fetched from the divine plan. Our arrogance oftentimes creates all sorts of barriers, macabre plans behind the scenes that give us an illusion of superiority over others. Consequently, we start perceiving threats that need to be destroyed; we begin spreading/ passing fears on others. We become paranoid. Everything around us becomes our enemies. Many times an introspection would help us win over our personal inner demons instead of those of the neighbors. For we need to sweep and put order in ourselves before we can deal with others' imperfections.
When I reached home, I put on my reading glasses and noticed the mediocre job that was done. Mad at myself for having let someone pocket my money after such a subpar service, I decided to travel back to that place two hours away just to vent my dissatisfaction. At that time, the refrain that my mind kept singing was "it's a matter of principles." At the salon I took a seat as he was busy. In the meantime other workers looked at the nails shook their heads and asked me politely to wait for him. When he finally approached me, he was adamant that he would not fix the nails. I went back home more disappointed than I had left before. Then, came the moment of clarity. I resolved to learn how to personally care for my nails. I went and purchased a collection of nail tools, watched some YouTube videos, and took over my manicure.
Anger is a normal human reaction, but need not to become our master. Jesus was angry at the merchants in the temple, but did not let his anger turn into sin. The Bible exhorts not to let the sun set on our anger. Once we go to bed with anger in our heart the natural occurrence of sleeping restfully or peacefully is gone. Then starts the meditation of evil. Ideas of revenge, wickedness and crimes lay down brewing next to us in our own beds.
When anger gets out of control it gives birth to hatred, selfishness, greediness, and confusion. Those spirits, if left untamed, will turn us into caricatures and monsters far-fetched from the divine plan. Our arrogance oftentimes creates all sorts of barriers, macabre plans behind the scenes that give us an illusion of superiority over others. Consequently, we start perceiving threats that need to be destroyed; we begin spreading/ passing fears on others. We become paranoid. Everything around us becomes our enemies. Many times an introspection would help us win over our personal inner demons instead of those of the neighbors. For we need to sweep and put order in ourselves before we can deal with others' imperfections.
Many times our circumstances, hurdles and disappointments are
angels ordered in our paths to take us into our destiny. If we lose our minds
over some silly distractions we may not enter in our promise land.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Embrace Hidden Wisdom
Sometimes I feel like our lenses are distorted. What are considered small might be bigger and vice versa. What we are discarding as junks might be the greatest treasures. We have come to a world so older than us, yet have become experts so full of ourselves that we are falling under the weight of our arrogance. The more we discover, the more there is and will be to be discovered. There will always be mountains behind the mountains, galaxies further than the newest ones we've just discovered as The Divine is constantly moving. We need to open our mind and eyes to find and embrace wisdom wherever wisdom might be hiding.
For example, The Bible a source of knowledge, guidance and inspiration for millennia, has been facing opposition in certain countries, places or institutions. In this country, carrying and reading a Bible in the open in certain schools have had pretty rough consequences. If one is free to read any other book on any other subject on planet earth why exclude the Bible? Some stipule that the Bible is controversial, what in the world is not? Let's bring it to our scholarly discussions, let's expose the controversies. Let it be another subject in the classroom. Our children are exposed daily to nudity, drugs and violence on tv, through diverse papers and magazines, on the streets, but we feel that they need to be protected from the "controversies" of the Bible? We can teach our kids about everything from Socrates to Shakespeare, about all types of behavior appropriate and inappropriate, and cannot let them be exposed to the content of one of the most sacred books in history? Our kids are smarter than that. They need to be equipped to learn, dispell, compare and make conscious choices between fallacies and truth.
I was born and raise in church. For half of my school years I went to a church school where parents and family members were the pastors, the teachers. I believe that who I am wouldn't be possible without these intrisic values passed down to me from generations of unbending and faithful servants.
The Bible was my story book since we did not have access to libraries of books and e-books. The Bible was my mirror. Its stories were my different scenarios. I would picture my life as an angel and fight against the role of a demon. I would walk vicariously in Mary, the mother of Jesus' shoes. I dreamed of being Esther who would save her people from destruction through her faith and grace. I owned every story of victory in the Bible; they were my epic moments. I had so many great heroes and heroines to look up to. Those crazy and vicious battles had prepared me for my personal battles in life, knowing that whether spiritual or physical, all my battles are The Lord's. That I can depend on His promises to strengthen me, protect me, fight in my stead and gIves me great victory. The Bible has remained my favorite book, for in it, are hidden exhaustless treasures.
The ants and bees for example are tiny creatures compared to us giants. Yet the way they structure, manage and uphold their colonies amazes and inspires us. We have been intrigued by their way of life, and have studied them extensively. Their survival and prosperity are incumbent upon their unity. " Men anpil chay pa lou" L'union fait la force" A Haitian proverb that can be translated as "Out of many hands the burden is light". This truthful statement solidifies the belief of the power of many.
The power of many has been considered a threat in many civilisations in history. Remember that anything wrongly used can become a threat or a danger. A group of ill- prepared intellectuals will conspire to create / invent destructive means to eliminate / destroy. While a group of compassionate scholars would consort to advance the welfare of humanity. A group of bad spirited businesssmen will work to the detriment of their sociey, while a group of visionaries will work to its benefits. A group of ill-spirited leaders will expose tthe lives of many to great dangers, while well spirited ones will work together towards the safety and well being of their communities.
When one ant spots a morsel it sends a signal to invite the whole community. Such invitation creates the desire and the willingness to participate in lifting the burden, then sharing the joy. Since from family A through family Z in the ants' world the spirit of trust, mutual respect, participation, dedication and fair retribution exist, no montain will stand on their way. When duty and honor, service and satisfaction, work and reward walk hand in hand it eases the participation in the process. When everyone feel and know that that they matter individually, they will get involved naturally. For example, I have never had a problem volunteering at my job. I have swept, picked up garbage and mopped floors. It's my belief that whatever I do cannot take away anything from who I am. It took parents, children, friends, religious leaders, teachers, neighbors, villages, communities, countries, establishments to nurture and build the woman I am today.
Our children need our collective support. We need to be concerned about their whole beings, body , mind and soul. We may puff up ourselves as much as we will;, every night we are reminded that we do not have absolute control, or knowledge. Our children and us will see tomorrow unless He allows us to. Falling asleep or dying should humble us all and bring us on our knees.
For example, The Bible a source of knowledge, guidance and inspiration for millennia, has been facing opposition in certain countries, places or institutions. In this country, carrying and reading a Bible in the open in certain schools have had pretty rough consequences. If one is free to read any other book on any other subject on planet earth why exclude the Bible? Some stipule that the Bible is controversial, what in the world is not? Let's bring it to our scholarly discussions, let's expose the controversies. Let it be another subject in the classroom. Our children are exposed daily to nudity, drugs and violence on tv, through diverse papers and magazines, on the streets, but we feel that they need to be protected from the "controversies" of the Bible? We can teach our kids about everything from Socrates to Shakespeare, about all types of behavior appropriate and inappropriate, and cannot let them be exposed to the content of one of the most sacred books in history? Our kids are smarter than that. They need to be equipped to learn, dispell, compare and make conscious choices between fallacies and truth.
I was born and raise in church. For half of my school years I went to a church school where parents and family members were the pastors, the teachers. I believe that who I am wouldn't be possible without these intrisic values passed down to me from generations of unbending and faithful servants.
The Bible was my story book since we did not have access to libraries of books and e-books. The Bible was my mirror. Its stories were my different scenarios. I would picture my life as an angel and fight against the role of a demon. I would walk vicariously in Mary, the mother of Jesus' shoes. I dreamed of being Esther who would save her people from destruction through her faith and grace. I owned every story of victory in the Bible; they were my epic moments. I had so many great heroes and heroines to look up to. Those crazy and vicious battles had prepared me for my personal battles in life, knowing that whether spiritual or physical, all my battles are The Lord's. That I can depend on His promises to strengthen me, protect me, fight in my stead and gIves me great victory. The Bible has remained my favorite book, for in it, are hidden exhaustless treasures.
The ants and bees for example are tiny creatures compared to us giants. Yet the way they structure, manage and uphold their colonies amazes and inspires us. We have been intrigued by their way of life, and have studied them extensively. Their survival and prosperity are incumbent upon their unity. " Men anpil chay pa lou" L'union fait la force" A Haitian proverb that can be translated as "Out of many hands the burden is light". This truthful statement solidifies the belief of the power of many.
The power of many has been considered a threat in many civilisations in history. Remember that anything wrongly used can become a threat or a danger. A group of ill- prepared intellectuals will conspire to create / invent destructive means to eliminate / destroy. While a group of compassionate scholars would consort to advance the welfare of humanity. A group of bad spirited businesssmen will work to the detriment of their sociey, while a group of visionaries will work to its benefits. A group of ill-spirited leaders will expose tthe lives of many to great dangers, while well spirited ones will work together towards the safety and well being of their communities.
When one ant spots a morsel it sends a signal to invite the whole community. Such invitation creates the desire and the willingness to participate in lifting the burden, then sharing the joy. Since from family A through family Z in the ants' world the spirit of trust, mutual respect, participation, dedication and fair retribution exist, no montain will stand on their way. When duty and honor, service and satisfaction, work and reward walk hand in hand it eases the participation in the process. When everyone feel and know that that they matter individually, they will get involved naturally. For example, I have never had a problem volunteering at my job. I have swept, picked up garbage and mopped floors. It's my belief that whatever I do cannot take away anything from who I am. It took parents, children, friends, religious leaders, teachers, neighbors, villages, communities, countries, establishments to nurture and build the woman I am today.
Our children need our collective support. We need to be concerned about their whole beings, body , mind and soul. We may puff up ourselves as much as we will;, every night we are reminded that we do not have absolute control, or knowledge. Our children and us will see tomorrow unless He allows us to. Falling asleep or dying should humble us all and bring us on our knees.
Friday, August 7, 2015
There is a season for every thing
There is a time and a season for everything. The Master Designer of nature has carefully planned and crafted the four seasons. Imagine an inhabited place where there would be no sun, no trees, no leaves; all there would be all year long is snow falls and storms. It would have been the most depressing, inconvenient and cruel place to be, as excess in everything is annoying.
In life as well there are seasons. Seasons to toil and seed, and seasons to harvest. Seasons to be born, and seasons to be gone
Seasons to rejoice and seasons to mourn
There are also seasons to be silent, waiting for God's voice, that sweet voice of comfort and reassurance. That inner calming voice encouraging us to stay the course til our victory.
In life, we do not witness our seasons at the same time. Our seasons are individually tailored and come at different times bringing excitement and joy on one hand or grief and sorrow on the other hand.
Imagine all births and christenings, all weddings and honeymoons, deaths and funerals; everything happening at the same time for everyone. Then, who would be there to assist, witness, share the joy or the grief with us? Everyone would be beating their drums and dance to their own music. The seasons of your lives create beauty, balance and hope. There is a season to voice our concerns, share our insights, and there is a season to zip up our mouths.
Balance in our lives is important. In order to maintain balance, we need to also be connected to a spiritual source. I spoke about the time of my silence on my last blog. It was a season of disappointment, fear, confusion, and uncertainty. I was conscious that if I would open my mouth, mostly displeasing words would have translate the fury of the storm inside. So I had chosen to remain selectively mute. Staying silent kept me sane and safe.
Now that The mighty Hands of The Living and Faithful God has opened my eyes to understand:
That he had never left me, even when I felt so alone and overwhelmed;
That He had carried me through every piece of thorny and rocky road;
That He was molding and transforming me into a vessel of great price;
That He always had my back, guaranteed me protection and love even when I fell,
a lot of emotions subsided, and my voice came back. A voice that will not spew venom and hurt. A voice that may encourage the poor, the oppressed, the abused, the forsaken, the hopeless to live and hope for a better tomorrow.
In life as well there are seasons. Seasons to toil and seed, and seasons to harvest. Seasons to be born, and seasons to be gone
Seasons to rejoice and seasons to mourn
There are also seasons to be silent, waiting for God's voice, that sweet voice of comfort and reassurance. That inner calming voice encouraging us to stay the course til our victory.
In life, we do not witness our seasons at the same time. Our seasons are individually tailored and come at different times bringing excitement and joy on one hand or grief and sorrow on the other hand.
Imagine all births and christenings, all weddings and honeymoons, deaths and funerals; everything happening at the same time for everyone. Then, who would be there to assist, witness, share the joy or the grief with us? Everyone would be beating their drums and dance to their own music. The seasons of your lives create beauty, balance and hope. There is a season to voice our concerns, share our insights, and there is a season to zip up our mouths.
Balance in our lives is important. In order to maintain balance, we need to also be connected to a spiritual source. I spoke about the time of my silence on my last blog. It was a season of disappointment, fear, confusion, and uncertainty. I was conscious that if I would open my mouth, mostly displeasing words would have translate the fury of the storm inside. So I had chosen to remain selectively mute. Staying silent kept me sane and safe.
Now that The mighty Hands of The Living and Faithful God has opened my eyes to understand:
That he had never left me, even when I felt so alone and overwhelmed;
That He had carried me through every piece of thorny and rocky road;
That He was molding and transforming me into a vessel of great price;
That He always had my back, guaranteed me protection and love even when I fell,
a lot of emotions subsided, and my voice came back. A voice that will not spew venom and hurt. A voice that may encourage the poor, the oppressed, the abused, the forsaken, the hopeless to live and hope for a better tomorrow.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Grateful for the storms of our lives
Have you ever wondered why out of all the people in the world you had to deal with the issues you had to deal with? Have you ever wondered why everyone were gone when you needed them the most? Have you ever wondered why you had to go through so much pain and agony? Have you ever wondered why you even came on this earth?
I have and will still be wondering about things in this life. I have wondered about the pain of separation, shame, and guilt that my family had to endure. I have wondered about the pain of discrimination and inequalities we had to go through. I have wondered about so many things and am still wondering about other things.
So as everyday brings his share of pain and sorrows, everyday brings his share of wisdom and comfort. Glancing back at the past, I am grateful for the strength and grace that I was blessed with in those moments of agony.
I recalled in those dark moments how I vicariously was holding on the promises that The God who had delivered so many in the past would fight my battles as well. I had lost my voice and had remained silent for along time. There was nothing wrong with that, for there are battles that our little selves could never win, if not through divine interventions. Exodus 14:14 For the Lord will fight your battle, and you be silent. Being silent does not mean that you are wrong, nor weak. Being silent allows one to:
conserve energy
preserve oneself from faux-pas
have clarity in your spirit
have clarity in your judgements
have clarity of vision.
In fact in our silence we allows The Divine to show up in Majesty in our life. Job stayed silent in the midst of the shame of his despair, sudden poverty and griefs. until the time came for him to boldly talk to his *judging friends. Eli and Jesus had to go into hiding so they were not prematurely destroyed. Sometimes we have to go into the cave of our moments and take cover against the wind of our storm until we get the all clear *order.
Why do we have to go through so much pain and agony? Why a God of love would let us go though so much pain, lots of time unjustifiable pain?
If gold did not go through the fire; it would have been unrecognizable. People would pass it by or discard it as trash. I can guarantee you that any piece of gold that you may have encountered had gone through hell. But when the final product is revealed, what a transformation. What a beautiful, precious, indescribable piece of metal it has become. The same goes for us; after the storms of our lives are gone, we emerge victorious, graceful, refined, and grateful.
I have and will still be wondering about things in this life. I have wondered about the pain of separation, shame, and guilt that my family had to endure. I have wondered about the pain of discrimination and inequalities we had to go through. I have wondered about so many things and am still wondering about other things.
So as everyday brings his share of pain and sorrows, everyday brings his share of wisdom and comfort. Glancing back at the past, I am grateful for the strength and grace that I was blessed with in those moments of agony.
I recalled in those dark moments how I vicariously was holding on the promises that The God who had delivered so many in the past would fight my battles as well. I had lost my voice and had remained silent for along time. There was nothing wrong with that, for there are battles that our little selves could never win, if not through divine interventions. Exodus 14:14 For the Lord will fight your battle, and you be silent. Being silent does not mean that you are wrong, nor weak. Being silent allows one to:
conserve energy
preserve oneself from faux-pas
have clarity in your spirit
have clarity in your judgements
have clarity of vision.
In fact in our silence we allows The Divine to show up in Majesty in our life. Job stayed silent in the midst of the shame of his despair, sudden poverty and griefs. until the time came for him to boldly talk to his *judging friends. Eli and Jesus had to go into hiding so they were not prematurely destroyed. Sometimes we have to go into the cave of our moments and take cover against the wind of our storm until we get the all clear *order.
Why do we have to go through so much pain and agony? Why a God of love would let us go though so much pain, lots of time unjustifiable pain?
If gold did not go through the fire; it would have been unrecognizable. People would pass it by or discard it as trash. I can guarantee you that any piece of gold that you may have encountered had gone through hell. But when the final product is revealed, what a transformation. What a beautiful, precious, indescribable piece of metal it has become. The same goes for us; after the storms of our lives are gone, we emerge victorious, graceful, refined, and grateful.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Forgiveness Liberates
Have you ever wondered about something you've lost or was taken from you? I had, but not anymore; and I will tell you why.
Years ago when I found out that the man I was married to for more than two decades, and with whom I conceived five wonderful children was remarried, before I even knew I was divorced, I was devastated. I felt like the world had crumbled over me. For a long while I had lost myself, my compass, and was totally disoriented.
I was angry for quite a while. As my anger was taking a toll on my health and sanity I began to reflect. When I would cross paths with in- laws my heart would race as if I were on the verge of a heart attack. Realizing that my fist-sized heart could not hold thousands of pounds of human imperfection and wickedness, I decided to find a better way to mourn my loss. I began fasting and praying. Those were very private moments - trying to shield the children from much more suffering- . I had a little support however from my youngest whose umbilical cord was still attached somehow to a virtual placenta inside my womb. (a joke her siblings would frequently make).
One day, I noticed this quote on a wall: "Anger is one letter short of danger." I digested it and integrated it into my warning signs. Another day one of the most powerful but anonymous quotes: "Do not let yourself be upset by people or things, they are powerless. Your reaction is their power." As a reminder I posted it in front of my bedroom and in my office at work (up to this day).
Then came my first breakthrough when a female bishop in her sermon opened the eyes of my heart saying: " look at you, you are so miserable hating the woman who took your ex away. You had a headache and that woman took it away. Instead of blessing her, sending her a thank you card for taking your headache and giving you peace of mind you are lamenting as if you lost your mother. Save your tears for a better purpose."
My journey towards recovery began at that moment. It has been a long process, but through reading books about forgiveness such as 'Why Forgive' by Johann Christoph Arnold a new era had begun, a time of empowerment. I learned to forgive myself for having thought for so long that I had failed to be the 'perfect wife" I had put behind the 'I could haves' and I should haves' or should not haves' . I have learned since that even though forgiveness does not rectify nor justify the wrong perpetrated against me; it does set me free from the bondage of hatred. It liberates my body, mind and soul. It clears my vision so I can joyfully choose to forsake bitterness, and become a better soul .
Years ago when I found out that the man I was married to for more than two decades, and with whom I conceived five wonderful children was remarried, before I even knew I was divorced, I was devastated. I felt like the world had crumbled over me. For a long while I had lost myself, my compass, and was totally disoriented.
I was angry for quite a while. As my anger was taking a toll on my health and sanity I began to reflect. When I would cross paths with in- laws my heart would race as if I were on the verge of a heart attack. Realizing that my fist-sized heart could not hold thousands of pounds of human imperfection and wickedness, I decided to find a better way to mourn my loss. I began fasting and praying. Those were very private moments - trying to shield the children from much more suffering- . I had a little support however from my youngest whose umbilical cord was still attached somehow to a virtual placenta inside my womb. (a joke her siblings would frequently make).
One day, I noticed this quote on a wall: "Anger is one letter short of danger." I digested it and integrated it into my warning signs. Another day one of the most powerful but anonymous quotes: "Do not let yourself be upset by people or things, they are powerless. Your reaction is their power." As a reminder I posted it in front of my bedroom and in my office at work (up to this day).
Then came my first breakthrough when a female bishop in her sermon opened the eyes of my heart saying: " look at you, you are so miserable hating the woman who took your ex away. You had a headache and that woman took it away. Instead of blessing her, sending her a thank you card for taking your headache and giving you peace of mind you are lamenting as if you lost your mother. Save your tears for a better purpose."
My journey towards recovery began at that moment. It has been a long process, but through reading books about forgiveness such as 'Why Forgive' by Johann Christoph Arnold a new era had begun, a time of empowerment. I learned to forgive myself for having thought for so long that I had failed to be the 'perfect wife" I had put behind the 'I could haves' and I should haves' or should not haves' . I have learned since that even though forgiveness does not rectify nor justify the wrong perpetrated against me; it does set me free from the bondage of hatred. It liberates my body, mind and soul. It clears my vision so I can joyfully choose to forsake bitterness, and become a better soul .
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Granpa' s cheese beard
Have you ever smelled a sweet fragrance or a pungent odor that is so tenacious that you feel compelled to find out where it's coming from?
This question brings back some memory of a story line used by my pastor that made me laugh up to this day: it's about grandpa's cheese beard.
The story goes as follows:
one afternoon as grandpa was taking a nap, his grandson decided to give his beard a makeover using some old funky cheese. Upon awaking, the smell of cheese being so strong, he rushed out of his bedroom. It was not the bedroom for the smell of cheese had followed the old man. He bypassed his wife who was cooking in the kitchen and commented : I will not eat dinner tonight for the cheese you're using will make people sick. Puzzled his wife answered: what cheese? He rushed outside and the smell was still overbearing. Frustrated, he screamed the whole world stinks like cheese. It was then that the little boy innocently approached him and said grandpa the cheese is in your beard.
So often we blame the wrong person, we look at the wrong place dealing with the stench in our life.
In this society we enjoy minding people's business because it gives us comfort in beating up somebody else. We glamorize the paparazzi 's culture of incessant gossiping for it keeps us from dealing with our own personal issues, our shortcomings. We are constantly in quest of the next scandal so we can validate ourselves in our mess. Capitalizing on other's mistakes or crimes gives us some confidence that ours are not as bad. We are neglecting our own success trying to live through the lives of others. Instead of using our time towards building our own lives we remain glued in front of our TVs. While others are enjoying their meals on the shows, we cannot partake. We salivate but remain hungry. We have become addicted to pre-made, scripted, on -screen entertainments that we often forget that we also have gifts and talents that need time, focus and commitment to develop.
The smell of spiritual death is every where, under our nose, yet we are looking everywhere else. We do smell it but we are looking elsewhere; it is right under our chin. Let's not be looking elsewhere, let's not be blaming others. let us look deep in ourselves, let us look in the mirror of our individual conscience.
This innocent game played by the little boy almost had the old man lose his mind. Sometimes life will play games with us as well, will we lose our mind easily? Will we lose our mind over things that are unpredictable? The circumstances we face today might change drastically tomorrow. The way we approach it will make the difference. Let's look at ourselves first. Let's clean ourselves, our homes, our streets, our communities first before we can speak ill of someone else. Then, wait faithfully for your breakthrough.
Monday, August 3, 2015
We are intricately connected with one another...
"Your freedom stops where mine begins" my mother once said to me. I would dare to add that my freedom is linked and intertwined with hers.
Let's imagine for a moment a world where all its inhabitants live with no respect for the laws. Imagine all of them stepping on each others toes with no restraint. Imagine a world where everyone can do anything they choose to without impunity. Imagine everyone driving their cars without licenses, without paying any mind to traffic lights, stop signs, or directions. Where they can switch lanes or make u turns whenever, however, or wherever they decide. Imagine garbage bags being dumped everywhere. Imagine all creatures wandering aimlessly foolishly without directions and colliding with each other. Imagine everyone invading each other's space without restraint. How does it feel? Doesn't it feel and sound like a familiar place to us?
On planet earth nowaday there is a new trend where everyone is designing and creating unique and personal world, no matter the cost on the rest of the planet. Everyone is becoming an isolated island, no matter if the rest of the world perishes. What we fail to understand is that when we cough the world sneezes and vice versa. That we are intricately connected to each other like the cells are to each other in our body. Whatever our aspirations, the rest of us, the vulnerable, the challenged and the poor need to be considered.
Freedom and liberty in our time tend to be equated with stubbornness, disorder and chaos. While in fact Liberty is our right to do whatever we decide to do that will not hinder/disturb others'. The right to express ourselves without crossing others' boundaries. Freedom on the other hand is our right to autonomy, to be without physical restraints or shackles. The right to speak our minds without hindrance yet in a respectable language so as not to offend our neighbors' vulnerable ears.
As I get older, the wisdom behind my mother's hidden truth have become more clear and tangible . I learned that being emotionally intelligent in diffusing anger and hatred do not make one weak. That on the contrary, there is more strength in those who can walk away from a fight, give without being noticed, forgive even when forgiveness is not received.
Therefore, being all parts of the same earth and universe let's be mindful of whatever we do. Our freedom of choice was divinely and purposefully given to us as a drive to help us love, build and succeed. Remember that whatever is going on our toes will ultimately affect our faces, our whole body, if we decide to neglect "those minimal parts" as if they weren't parts of our body.
Let's imagine for a moment a world where all its inhabitants live with no respect for the laws. Imagine all of them stepping on each others toes with no restraint. Imagine a world where everyone can do anything they choose to without impunity. Imagine everyone driving their cars without licenses, without paying any mind to traffic lights, stop signs, or directions. Where they can switch lanes or make u turns whenever, however, or wherever they decide. Imagine garbage bags being dumped everywhere. Imagine all creatures wandering aimlessly foolishly without directions and colliding with each other. Imagine everyone invading each other's space without restraint. How does it feel? Doesn't it feel and sound like a familiar place to us?
On planet earth nowaday there is a new trend where everyone is designing and creating unique and personal world, no matter the cost on the rest of the planet. Everyone is becoming an isolated island, no matter if the rest of the world perishes. What we fail to understand is that when we cough the world sneezes and vice versa. That we are intricately connected to each other like the cells are to each other in our body. Whatever our aspirations, the rest of us, the vulnerable, the challenged and the poor need to be considered.
Freedom and liberty in our time tend to be equated with stubbornness, disorder and chaos. While in fact Liberty is our right to do whatever we decide to do that will not hinder/disturb others'. The right to express ourselves without crossing others' boundaries. Freedom on the other hand is our right to autonomy, to be without physical restraints or shackles. The right to speak our minds without hindrance yet in a respectable language so as not to offend our neighbors' vulnerable ears.
As I get older, the wisdom behind my mother's hidden truth have become more clear and tangible . I learned that being emotionally intelligent in diffusing anger and hatred do not make one weak. That on the contrary, there is more strength in those who can walk away from a fight, give without being noticed, forgive even when forgiveness is not received.
Therefore, being all parts of the same earth and universe let's be mindful of whatever we do. Our freedom of choice was divinely and purposefully given to us as a drive to help us love, build and succeed. Remember that whatever is going on our toes will ultimately affect our faces, our whole body, if we decide to neglect "those minimal parts" as if they weren't parts of our body.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Thursday, June 18, 2015
We are part of the same fabric called universe
As I stroll down many roads, and watch several events, I wonder if we have not lost our way. Words like conscience, remorse, shame, intrinsic values do not seem to exist anymore. Have we lost our way?
Two years ago my children gave me a subscription to dating sites as a Valentine's Day gift. This was in anticipation of their plan to move away from the nest. My initial reaction to their offer was "thanks but no thanks". Then, with plenty of hesitation and fear, I agreed to explore the possibility of finding a mate online.
Instead the ugliness I uncovered had shocked me and rendered me speechless.
I discovered web of liars, con artists, cowards, criminals. Such bizzare creatures are using their computer screens or their telephones as hideouts. What a shame! What a dysfunctional, monstrous and sickening society we are creating!
We are giving ourselves free passes to hurt "others' children" as long as they are "not ours". Not understanding that others have the same mentality to hurt others' children as long they are not theirs. So at the end we all become a bunch of fools and losers.
For we are all threads of the same fabrics. We are all intertwined in the same fabric called universe. We are parts of tbe same body. As a head, one does not care for the injury of little fingernails or toenails until the pain radiates and give them a massive headache. We are different elements, cells, structures of the same body. Without you being whole I will not be whole. Your cough will make me sneeze.
When we hurt a woman, we hurt all women. we hurt our mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, cousins, female friends and wives. When we hurt a man, we hurt all men. We hurt our fathers, sons, brothers, cousins, uncles, male friends and husbands When we hurt a child, we hurt all children, our children. When we hurt each other, we are hurting our ownselves.
Two years ago my children gave me a subscription to dating sites as a Valentine's Day gift. This was in anticipation of their plan to move away from the nest. My initial reaction to their offer was "thanks but no thanks". Then, with plenty of hesitation and fear, I agreed to explore the possibility of finding a mate online.
Instead the ugliness I uncovered had shocked me and rendered me speechless.
I discovered web of liars, con artists, cowards, criminals. Such bizzare creatures are using their computer screens or their telephones as hideouts. What a shame! What a dysfunctional, monstrous and sickening society we are creating!
We are giving ourselves free passes to hurt "others' children" as long as they are "not ours". Not understanding that others have the same mentality to hurt others' children as long they are not theirs. So at the end we all become a bunch of fools and losers.
For we are all threads of the same fabrics. We are all intertwined in the same fabric called universe. We are parts of tbe same body. As a head, one does not care for the injury of little fingernails or toenails until the pain radiates and give them a massive headache. We are different elements, cells, structures of the same body. Without you being whole I will not be whole. Your cough will make me sneeze.
When we hurt a woman, we hurt all women. we hurt our mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, cousins, female friends and wives. When we hurt a man, we hurt all men. We hurt our fathers, sons, brothers, cousins, uncles, male friends and husbands When we hurt a child, we hurt all children, our children. When we hurt each other, we are hurting our ownselves.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Sunday, May 31, 2015
We are the Catalysts of our Miracles
It is my understanding that there are different types and levels of miracles. The Creator/Giver of life, creates and provides continuously and indiscriminately air, rain, sun, crops and cattle of the fields to all. He cares for the tiniest as well as for the most gigantic creatures. These are continuous miracles bestowed on the collectivity unconditionally. (Famine and starvation are human made)
On the other hands, there are miracles that are only contingent upon our willingness to ignite the power within us. Such power will allow our desires to manifest in our lives through faith and obedience
Moses in order to lead the Israelites out of bondage, had to ignite the power in him by replacing his fear with faith. Then, all it took for all the miracles to happen was his baton and his faith. The woman of Sarepta, through faith and obedience was able, despite the minuscule amount of flour and oil, to feed the prophet and her son. Her blessing was toppled by an overflowing riches and grace that carried over generations afterwards.
The young boy did not hesitate to surrender his five loaves of bread and two fish for the Master's plan. He ultimately witnessed his participation in the divine plan that satisfied his hunger as well as that of the whole community. He had allowed himself to partake in that indescribable miracle of sharing. The same dynamism applied to the woman with the issue of blood, the lepers, the lame, the blind and the dead. They witnessed their miracles because of their faith and obedience.
There are occasions where we impede or sabotage our miracles. Cain for example missed his miracles because of his lack of faith; and unwillingness to offer his best. Abel on the other hand, honored The Lord with the best that he could with the understanding that all belong to God; that he could never out-give The Lord. Therefore, despite his violent death, his sacrifice will remain at The Heart of The Throne of The Lord of lords forever.
Jesus Himself spoke of a town where no miracles happened because of their lack of faith. Jesus went on sharing the secret to our miracles: a bit of faith as tiny as a mustard seed in The Living God. Jesus replied: "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. Like 17: 20
Created at the image of The Father God Almighty, we have been blessed with the power to walk in our purpose. We need faith and action for them our miracles to come to light. We need to believe and allow God to operate in our lives without hindrances. We need to tap into that divine energy, and dynamically activate that supernatural power though faith and obedience to bring about our miracles.
On the other hands, there are miracles that are only contingent upon our willingness to ignite the power within us. Such power will allow our desires to manifest in our lives through faith and obedience
Moses in order to lead the Israelites out of bondage, had to ignite the power in him by replacing his fear with faith. Then, all it took for all the miracles to happen was his baton and his faith. The woman of Sarepta, through faith and obedience was able, despite the minuscule amount of flour and oil, to feed the prophet and her son. Her blessing was toppled by an overflowing riches and grace that carried over generations afterwards.
The young boy did not hesitate to surrender his five loaves of bread and two fish for the Master's plan. He ultimately witnessed his participation in the divine plan that satisfied his hunger as well as that of the whole community. He had allowed himself to partake in that indescribable miracle of sharing. The same dynamism applied to the woman with the issue of blood, the lepers, the lame, the blind and the dead. They witnessed their miracles because of their faith and obedience.
There are occasions where we impede or sabotage our miracles. Cain for example missed his miracles because of his lack of faith; and unwillingness to offer his best. Abel on the other hand, honored The Lord with the best that he could with the understanding that all belong to God; that he could never out-give The Lord. Therefore, despite his violent death, his sacrifice will remain at The Heart of The Throne of The Lord of lords forever.
Jesus Himself spoke of a town where no miracles happened because of their lack of faith. Jesus went on sharing the secret to our miracles: a bit of faith as tiny as a mustard seed in The Living God. Jesus replied: "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. Like 17: 20
Created at the image of The Father God Almighty, we have been blessed with the power to walk in our purpose. We need faith and action for them our miracles to come to light. We need to believe and allow God to operate in our lives without hindrances. We need to tap into that divine energy, and dynamically activate that supernatural power though faith and obedience to bring about our miracles.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Our Existence Intertwined
I liked sitting on the floor and inviting my children around; coming home sharing the highlights of my long work days. Often times it was about the simple blessings that I called miracles. Joking around, I would point out that every time I was inadvertently caught up in the rain without an umbrella, I would look at the sky and pray for the rain to halt until I reached my destination. I would hear the rain behind me, and as soon I reached my shelter, it would start pouring. It happened over and over. I would share the countless blessings in moments of dire need, but was not successful in convincing those young kids of mine that they were miracles. Those days are over. I hope that as adults their eyes are opened to witnessing their own abundance of miracles.
One Summer, I had decided to go spend some time with my ailing sister about 60 miles away. Since I normally do not like to drive, furthermore, was too exhausted to take the bus, my son agreed to drive me there. It was a scorching hot day, not one to be dealing with mishaps or drama. I had reclined my seat to ease my back, and had begun chatting with my son, when suddenly I heard him sighing. Then about a few feet away, I heard a screeching sound. My son went outside To take a look, came back inside, then moved the car a little bit further. Fortunately, we were right by a gas station. He eased the car next to the air pump and got out. Then came right back inside, "We have a flat tire that needs to be patched". What! What's the plan? I interjected...He kept on moving. Few yards away , behold there was a car repair shop. The tire was patched for 50.00 and we headed to my sister's.
On the road as I was thankful and grateful for that new miracle, I continued sharing the blessings of that week. Suddenly my son interrumpted me saying: "Mommy, what had just happened was a miracle. Everything else you mentioned were just coincidences". He went on explaining that he had accidentally gotten off the wrong exit. That what at first seemed a nightmare turned out to be a blessing from heaven. If he had gotten off at the right exit, the flat tire would have happened in the middle of the highway. I deducted that even in the safest case scenario, the car would have needed to be towed; the financial cost would have been greater. Also, waiting under such extreme heat could have potentially caused health complications -such as dehydration and stroke- to both of us. At least my son and I were on the same page, that together we had witnessed a miracle.
Miracles come in many different forms and different packages. The gift of life, the air that we breathe, the food that sustain us, all that we take for granted are miracles.
One Summer, I had decided to go spend some time with my ailing sister about 60 miles away. Since I normally do not like to drive, furthermore, was too exhausted to take the bus, my son agreed to drive me there. It was a scorching hot day, not one to be dealing with mishaps or drama. I had reclined my seat to ease my back, and had begun chatting with my son, when suddenly I heard him sighing. Then about a few feet away, I heard a screeching sound. My son went outside To take a look, came back inside, then moved the car a little bit further. Fortunately, we were right by a gas station. He eased the car next to the air pump and got out. Then came right back inside, "We have a flat tire that needs to be patched". What! What's the plan? I interjected...He kept on moving. Few yards away , behold there was a car repair shop. The tire was patched for 50.00 and we headed to my sister's.
On the road as I was thankful and grateful for that new miracle, I continued sharing the blessings of that week. Suddenly my son interrumpted me saying: "Mommy, what had just happened was a miracle. Everything else you mentioned were just coincidences". He went on explaining that he had accidentally gotten off the wrong exit. That what at first seemed a nightmare turned out to be a blessing from heaven. If he had gotten off at the right exit, the flat tire would have happened in the middle of the highway. I deducted that even in the safest case scenario, the car would have needed to be towed; the financial cost would have been greater. Also, waiting under such extreme heat could have potentially caused health complications -such as dehydration and stroke- to both of us. At least my son and I were on the same page, that together we had witnessed a miracle.
Miracles come in many different forms and different packages. The gift of life, the air that we breathe, the food that sustain us, all that we take for granted are miracles.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Drink the Wine, but Respect the Bottle
When I found out that my name meant "Strong Spear", the divine impartation in me suddenly took off to a higher ground. My eyes opened; and the reasons I had survived the storms of my life became crystal clear. I began to reflect on my life in a more meaningful way. I began to question the purpose of the elements around me: a spear, a knife, a gun, a rock, a flower, water, fire, and so on. I became more curious about the common things, and began to pay attention to their symbolisms.
When The Bible evokes God's Word as a sword with two edges, it opens one's mind to the fact that everything in life can converge only towards two different directions. It points out the reality of good and evil, life and death, joy and sorrow. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil suggests a choice between two possible trajectories: one toward doing good, and the other toward doing wrong. The world of opposites was created right in The Beginning of our world. The world of light and the world of darkness strongly divided since its inception. It has been up to us to utilize or manipulate the world around us to promote, or to destroy life.
Let's consider water for example. According to scientific research, water makes up 60 - 80 percent of the human body. It also stipulates that we can live up to 21 days without food, but cannot live without water for more than three (m.livescience.com). Yet this same essential water destroys us when we fail to manage it properly. No one in his/ her right mind will go too far in the ocean without the proper gears and the mastery of natation.
Another element vital to our survival is fire. Attractive by its flamboyant color and flame, this divine wonder keeps us warm, cooks our meals, entertains us. Yet, when let out of hands, it becomes deadly and destructive.
A knife, another essential tool, is used across the world in cooking, science, medicine and arts. When used carelessly, this master piece becomes a deadly weapon as well.
The locomotive collection that carries us from the cribs to the graves oftentimes had turned out to be our coffins.
The Internet, this latest discovery, has propelled us beyond our imagination. Yet its dark side so dense and terrifying seems to be taking us faster and deeper towards our decimation.
Reflecting on this simple exercise, I can hear my mother's voice echoing: "drink the wine, respect the bottle". This axiom supports the idea that the source of every thing is a giver or maintainer of life as well as the decider and finisher of life. Consequently, a sacred entity should be approched with respect and reverence. In this light, whatever we use, let us use with respect. Whatever we uproot to consume let us replace. Let us rebuild whatever we destroy in our path, refill whatever we deplete, repair whatever we brake. Let us be mindful of each of our actions, for they are seeds released in the universe.
The way we live our lives testifies of the trails we will leave behind. Remember that whatever one sows, one shall reap. It is up to us to plant seeds of righteousness, or else. Even if the trees of our actions fail to produce fruits during our life span, they will certainly in due time. Our children and those of our children's children will reap the fruits of life, health, joy and happiness. Or they will bear the fruits of death, sickness, misery and bitterness. Our children and the children of the world will dance and rejoice if we consciously individually and collectively make their world a better place. Or, our children and the children of the world will be grinding their teeth if instead we leave them a hellish mess. It is up to us.....
When The Bible evokes God's Word as a sword with two edges, it opens one's mind to the fact that everything in life can converge only towards two different directions. It points out the reality of good and evil, life and death, joy and sorrow. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil suggests a choice between two possible trajectories: one toward doing good, and the other toward doing wrong. The world of opposites was created right in The Beginning of our world. The world of light and the world of darkness strongly divided since its inception. It has been up to us to utilize or manipulate the world around us to promote, or to destroy life.
Let's consider water for example. According to scientific research, water makes up 60 - 80 percent of the human body. It also stipulates that we can live up to 21 days without food, but cannot live without water for more than three (m.livescience.com). Yet this same essential water destroys us when we fail to manage it properly. No one in his/ her right mind will go too far in the ocean without the proper gears and the mastery of natation.
Another element vital to our survival is fire. Attractive by its flamboyant color and flame, this divine wonder keeps us warm, cooks our meals, entertains us. Yet, when let out of hands, it becomes deadly and destructive.
A knife, another essential tool, is used across the world in cooking, science, medicine and arts. When used carelessly, this master piece becomes a deadly weapon as well.
The locomotive collection that carries us from the cribs to the graves oftentimes had turned out to be our coffins.
The Internet, this latest discovery, has propelled us beyond our imagination. Yet its dark side so dense and terrifying seems to be taking us faster and deeper towards our decimation.
Reflecting on this simple exercise, I can hear my mother's voice echoing: "drink the wine, respect the bottle". This axiom supports the idea that the source of every thing is a giver or maintainer of life as well as the decider and finisher of life. Consequently, a sacred entity should be approched with respect and reverence. In this light, whatever we use, let us use with respect. Whatever we uproot to consume let us replace. Let us rebuild whatever we destroy in our path, refill whatever we deplete, repair whatever we brake. Let us be mindful of each of our actions, for they are seeds released in the universe.
The way we live our lives testifies of the trails we will leave behind. Remember that whatever one sows, one shall reap. It is up to us to plant seeds of righteousness, or else. Even if the trees of our actions fail to produce fruits during our life span, they will certainly in due time. Our children and those of our children's children will reap the fruits of life, health, joy and happiness. Or they will bear the fruits of death, sickness, misery and bitterness. Our children and the children of the world will dance and rejoice if we consciously individually and collectively make their world a better place. Or, our children and the children of the world will be grinding their teeth if instead we leave them a hellish mess. It is up to us.....
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Amazingly Renewed
The trials of my life have transformed me from a 'victim' to a victor. I have learned that outward beauty by itself is a shell without essence or substance. That inner beauty on the other hand has the metamorphic power to turn the ugliest outer shell into the most radiant being. I have also come to the understanding that as a caterpillar is given the power to be transformed into a butterfly, all of us have within us the power to spring forth wings of liberty. I have been empowered to never again let my body, this sacred temple, entrusted to me by The Divine, be debased by anyone. Now I know for sure that going through the fire has molded me into this priceless and unique jewel.
Throughout my life I have used different activities (such as arts and crafts, music, singing, dancing) to help me cope with stress and distress. Reading has allowed me to imagine other worlds, kept me dreaming and fantasizing. Yet, nothing has been more instrumental in taking me out of my cocoon than telling the story of my life. Sharing my story has helped me grieve and reconnect with my old self while progressing toward a more refined one.
When I reentered college a few years ago, Dr Shand, my professor in Transitional Nursing, threw the following question up in the air: " Who am I? " All of us, took turns answering the question. Some colleagues spoke of their prowess and accomplishments, others used the opportunity to recognize, affirm, and appreciate the individuals in their lives. When my turn came, I recall my brain swirling and my mouth frozen in fear. My brain at that moment could not produce any beautiful and acceptable memories. Deep inside, I sensed that dragging skeletons out of the closet would disturb the perfect atmosphere. I dreaded what followed next, but had no control whatsoever of the words that flowed from my lips.
"I am Gerthy, I am a mother of five. I have been a registered nurse for 20 years. I am a survivor of domestic violence"....... I voiced.
Then my mouth continued to spout the painful memories as they continued to surface. Deluge of tears and uncontrollable hiccups took over. I became the woman with the issue of blood marinated with the lepers, the lamed, the blind man and the dead man. I was in critical need of resurrection, redemption, and rehabilitation. I poured out whatever toxic mixture that was eating me alive regardless of potential hypocritical, disdainful, or pitiful attitude of the world around me.
I was at that intersection where I could no longer bear the turmoil inside. When I was finally through, a deadly and strange silence lingered over the place, and the box of tissue quietly emptied out. That redemptive exercise had had such an impact on me. From that moment forward I began to crawl slowly through the path of recovery. I began to open my mouth and let my voice echo again.
In my culture it was taught not to expose our dirty laundry to anyone. Therefore, it was quite hard to open up and talk about the rough, edgy, and stormy sea I had to navigate. However, having had those ears listening to my disagreeable conversation at such a crossroad brought comfort to my soul. Stepping out of my shell constricted by decades of fear was vital for me to leap into the vast ocean toward my destiny. I did not care anymore, I needed to stand, walk, run, race, swim, or fly towards God's perfect plan for me.
It has been three years, my wings have gotten stronger. My broken heart is being mended more and more. It is about stepping out of that deadly cocoon stronger and more splendid than I have ever been. In fact, I am glad to reintroduce myself to the world:
"I am Gerthy, I am a precious pearl of an exquisite essence. A strong spear wonderfully and beautifully made by my Creator'. (Psalms 139: 14) I am still a work in progress, for He is not yet done with me."
I am grateful for my kids for they are the crowns of this journey of pain and sacrifices. I am grateful for family and friends for they are the shoulders that upheld me. I am grateful to all my professors who have guided me towards discovering my purpose. Now I am grateful for everyone of you. For you are the energy I was waiting for to tap into my destiny.
God sends us different angels at different times. We need to recognize and acknowledge them.
I am grateful for my daily lessons for they carry their share of blessings. They are seeds of wisdom that, if sown in a readily fertile ground, will blossom exponentially.
Footnote:
My special gratitude to my nursing professors at The College of New Rochelle. Your love, dedication, leadership, mentorship, humility, professionalism, and unselfish sharing have surrounded and supported me through the painful process of rebirth.
Throughout my life I have used different activities (such as arts and crafts, music, singing, dancing) to help me cope with stress and distress. Reading has allowed me to imagine other worlds, kept me dreaming and fantasizing. Yet, nothing has been more instrumental in taking me out of my cocoon than telling the story of my life. Sharing my story has helped me grieve and reconnect with my old self while progressing toward a more refined one.
When I reentered college a few years ago, Dr Shand, my professor in Transitional Nursing, threw the following question up in the air: " Who am I? " All of us, took turns answering the question. Some colleagues spoke of their prowess and accomplishments, others used the opportunity to recognize, affirm, and appreciate the individuals in their lives. When my turn came, I recall my brain swirling and my mouth frozen in fear. My brain at that moment could not produce any beautiful and acceptable memories. Deep inside, I sensed that dragging skeletons out of the closet would disturb the perfect atmosphere. I dreaded what followed next, but had no control whatsoever of the words that flowed from my lips.
"I am Gerthy, I am a mother of five. I have been a registered nurse for 20 years. I am a survivor of domestic violence"....... I voiced.
Then my mouth continued to spout the painful memories as they continued to surface. Deluge of tears and uncontrollable hiccups took over. I became the woman with the issue of blood marinated with the lepers, the lamed, the blind man and the dead man. I was in critical need of resurrection, redemption, and rehabilitation. I poured out whatever toxic mixture that was eating me alive regardless of potential hypocritical, disdainful, or pitiful attitude of the world around me.
I was at that intersection where I could no longer bear the turmoil inside. When I was finally through, a deadly and strange silence lingered over the place, and the box of tissue quietly emptied out. That redemptive exercise had had such an impact on me. From that moment forward I began to crawl slowly through the path of recovery. I began to open my mouth and let my voice echo again.
In my culture it was taught not to expose our dirty laundry to anyone. Therefore, it was quite hard to open up and talk about the rough, edgy, and stormy sea I had to navigate. However, having had those ears listening to my disagreeable conversation at such a crossroad brought comfort to my soul. Stepping out of my shell constricted by decades of fear was vital for me to leap into the vast ocean toward my destiny. I did not care anymore, I needed to stand, walk, run, race, swim, or fly towards God's perfect plan for me.
It has been three years, my wings have gotten stronger. My broken heart is being mended more and more. It is about stepping out of that deadly cocoon stronger and more splendid than I have ever been. In fact, I am glad to reintroduce myself to the world:
"I am Gerthy, I am a precious pearl of an exquisite essence. A strong spear wonderfully and beautifully made by my Creator'. (Psalms 139: 14) I am still a work in progress, for He is not yet done with me."
I am grateful for my kids for they are the crowns of this journey of pain and sacrifices. I am grateful for family and friends for they are the shoulders that upheld me. I am grateful to all my professors who have guided me towards discovering my purpose. Now I am grateful for everyone of you. For you are the energy I was waiting for to tap into my destiny.
God sends us different angels at different times. We need to recognize and acknowledge them.
I am grateful for my daily lessons for they carry their share of blessings. They are seeds of wisdom that, if sown in a readily fertile ground, will blossom exponentially.
Footnote:
My special gratitude to my nursing professors at The College of New Rochelle. Your love, dedication, leadership, mentorship, humility, professionalism, and unselfish sharing have surrounded and supported me through the painful process of rebirth.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Love is ....
God is love.
Love is divine.
Love is the greatest healer.
Love is life.
Love is divine.
Love is eternal bliss.
Love is light.
Love is divine.
Love dissipates darkness.
Love is mercy.
Love is divine.
Love forgives all wrong.
Love is grace.
Love is divine.
Love showers us with peace
Love is kind.
Love is divine.
Love conquers all fears.
Love is free.
Love is divine.
Love sets all captives free.
Love is real.
Love is divine.
Love embraces us all.
Love is divine.
Love is the greatest healer.
Love is life.
Love is divine.
Love is eternal bliss.
Love is light.
Love is divine.
Love dissipates darkness.
Love is mercy.
Love is divine.
Love forgives all wrong.
Love is grace.
Love is divine.
Love showers us with peace
Love is kind.
Love is divine.
Love conquers all fears.
Love is free.
Love is divine.
Love sets all captives free.
Love is real.
Love is divine.
Love embraces us all.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Live Life Fully Every Day
Recently I went into hypertensive crisis. The outpouring of care and love was outstandingly exceptional - from the second I had gestured to my coworker that I was not well to the time of recovery at home. This health scare has taken me on a journey of soul searching and self-discovery.
When I reached the hospital, my stress level and blood pressure remained extremely high. So my ideal expectation was that I would be placed in a quiet and private environment. In reality, in order to be monitored efficiently, I had to be kept in the ER in the midst of all the bright lights, beeping, and swooshing sounds. My bed was wheeled and zipped on the rail across this young, beautiful, and successful woman whose husband was siting quietly by her side. She had checked into the hospital, not for anything major, nor for any particular signs and symptoms, but simply for her peace of mind. She wondered if the zit on her face was a warning of a severe allergic reaction. As soon as I was dropped into my designated spot, I picked up her vibe of disenchantment. Not having the stamina to fight back, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I dismissed that unhealthy way of reacting to what I had perceived as 'her territorial attitude', and started focusing instead on my healing. She was released within an hour later.
Then, just as I began to relax in the room, another patient, a 79-year-old woman, Ms. C, became my new neighbor. Suddenly, I caught myself ironically wearing the villain's hat. I was disappointed that they had brought someone next to me while I needed total peace and quiet. I had forgotten that a few minutes earlier I, myself, was an unwanted neighbor. Ms C. was confident, charismatic, strong, humble, amicable, and stubborn. Sophisticated yet simple, she sat during all her stay with her head tall, a straight posture, and a radiant smile. She was brought in not of her own volition but by strangers who had witnessed her sustain a fall on the street. She could remember everything right before the fall and everything after. She hurt her head but could not remember how, or when it had happened. The medical experts were eager to figure out why. All preliminary tests came back normal except for "some internal bleeding around the affected site", which would require her to stay overnight. Informed that the "bleed" could possibly spread and that as a precaution she needed to stay for the night, she abruptly asked, " .......for what?"
Doctor: as to observe and see if it would become bigger."
Ms. C: "Then what if it's spread?
Doctor: it spreads we would have to perform surgery.
Ms. C: "And what if it doesn't?"
Doctor: it doesn't, you would go home."
Ms. C: "Then, in that case let me go home to kitty, and if spreads, I'll come back for the surgery."
Ms C. was adamant, sweet, and funny at the same time. She pulled me out of my miserable state without effort, by sharing her story. As I motioned that as we get older, there is this increasing need to be careful about how we handle ourselves. She zapped and said with a genuine smile: "don't get old it doesn't pay." As she continued sharing, I realized that she was another one of the many angels that have walked along my path in this journey called life.
Today, as I meditated over my health and the changes that have to occur, Ms C's joyful and brave spirit came to mind. Though I am working on different ways to improve my health, I cannot help but remind myself that we are all just passing through life; we must live every second of it with purpose. The universe is larger and greater than what we can see, and we must encourage and allow ourselves to make the best of each day.
This journey has taught me to live my life fully every day knowing that it might be my last. My health is one of my many treasures. Yet, it can be taken away in thousands of different ways. But love, grace, peace, harmony, joy, happiness, contentment, forgiveness, and fulfillment can never be taken away when I live my life every day to the fullest. Therefore, I will live my life every day as if it were my last mindfully, purposefully, gracefully, gratefully, respectfully, rightfully, righteously, joyfully and wisely.
When I reached the hospital, my stress level and blood pressure remained extremely high. So my ideal expectation was that I would be placed in a quiet and private environment. In reality, in order to be monitored efficiently, I had to be kept in the ER in the midst of all the bright lights, beeping, and swooshing sounds. My bed was wheeled and zipped on the rail across this young, beautiful, and successful woman whose husband was siting quietly by her side. She had checked into the hospital, not for anything major, nor for any particular signs and symptoms, but simply for her peace of mind. She wondered if the zit on her face was a warning of a severe allergic reaction. As soon as I was dropped into my designated spot, I picked up her vibe of disenchantment. Not having the stamina to fight back, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I dismissed that unhealthy way of reacting to what I had perceived as 'her territorial attitude', and started focusing instead on my healing. She was released within an hour later.
Then, just as I began to relax in the room, another patient, a 79-year-old woman, Ms. C, became my new neighbor. Suddenly, I caught myself ironically wearing the villain's hat. I was disappointed that they had brought someone next to me while I needed total peace and quiet. I had forgotten that a few minutes earlier I, myself, was an unwanted neighbor. Ms C. was confident, charismatic, strong, humble, amicable, and stubborn. Sophisticated yet simple, she sat during all her stay with her head tall, a straight posture, and a radiant smile. She was brought in not of her own volition but by strangers who had witnessed her sustain a fall on the street. She could remember everything right before the fall and everything after. She hurt her head but could not remember how, or when it had happened. The medical experts were eager to figure out why. All preliminary tests came back normal except for "some internal bleeding around the affected site", which would require her to stay overnight. Informed that the "bleed" could possibly spread and that as a precaution she needed to stay for the night, she abruptly asked, " .......for what?"
Doctor: as to observe and see if it would become bigger."
Ms. C: "Then what if it's spread?
Doctor: it spreads we would have to perform surgery.
Ms. C: "And what if it doesn't?"
Doctor: it doesn't, you would go home."
Ms. C: "Then, in that case let me go home to kitty, and if spreads, I'll come back for the surgery."
Ms C. was adamant, sweet, and funny at the same time. She pulled me out of my miserable state without effort, by sharing her story. As I motioned that as we get older, there is this increasing need to be careful about how we handle ourselves. She zapped and said with a genuine smile: "don't get old it doesn't pay." As she continued sharing, I realized that she was another one of the many angels that have walked along my path in this journey called life.
Today, as I meditated over my health and the changes that have to occur, Ms C's joyful and brave spirit came to mind. Though I am working on different ways to improve my health, I cannot help but remind myself that we are all just passing through life; we must live every second of it with purpose. The universe is larger and greater than what we can see, and we must encourage and allow ourselves to make the best of each day.
This journey has taught me to live my life fully every day knowing that it might be my last. My health is one of my many treasures. Yet, it can be taken away in thousands of different ways. But love, grace, peace, harmony, joy, happiness, contentment, forgiveness, and fulfillment can never be taken away when I live my life every day to the fullest. Therefore, I will live my life every day as if it were my last mindfully, purposefully, gracefully, gratefully, respectfully, rightfully, righteously, joyfully and wisely.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Monday, February 23, 2015
Take Time to Witness Love
As I bent to sit on the bus one morning, I was preoccupied by the fact that I had missed my regular bus. I wondered if I would make it to work on time. Not being in the present and unaware of my surroundings, I accidentally hit the passenger next to me with my backpack. All I heard was her moaning, holding her arm as if she were cradling a baby. I apologized profusely and gently rubbed her arm. Suddenly, her discomfort stopped and she told me it was okay. I felt so relieved that she understood that I was sincerely sorry. Her genuine smile comforted me. I knew that I had been forgiven. As we parted ways, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a couple kissing as they welcomed each other; I realized that love was in the air, everywhere.
Despite my previous anxieties and preoccupations, I made it to work on time. Many times, rushing to our daily commitments, we fail to pay enough attention to the world around us. So absorbed by the physical realm, we often ignore and miss what the spiritual realm has to offer. Our senses are so tuned to what strikes the eyes, that we miss out on the small blessings.
Many times it is not the offense that hurts, but our failure to acknowledge that we have wronged others inadvertently or even purposefully. Often times what makes the pain linger is our inability to be sensitive and vulnerable. Showing sensitivity and kindness is not a sign of weakness but one of strength.
Once, we become less self-centered, we will realize that love is always in the air, everywhere waiting to be noticed, acknowledged, and embraced.
Once, we become less self-centered, we will realize that love is always in the air, everywhere waiting to be noticed, acknowledged, and embraced.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Lifting Our Hearts
We need to pay attention to what will lift up our hearts and give life to our souls. Many precious gems from the earth come from filthy places. We do not discard them; instead we bring out the treasure and discard the trash. It is heartbreaking to see beautiful minds being wrapped up, enslaved, and subjugated by dark spirits.
Let The Lamb who is worthy to open The Book be The Judge. Release any feelings of guilt, do the best possible. Avoid being bitter; for the sun must not set on our anger.
Let The Lamb who is worthy to open The Book be The Judge. Release any feelings of guilt, do the best possible. Avoid being bitter; for the sun must not set on our anger.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
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